Dear Blogagaard,
Man, you are one handsome devil. How in the world did you get to be so handsome?
Love,
Grandma
Dear Grandma,
I love you.
Blogagaard
Dear Blogagaard,
Some friends of mine don’t believe that David Sedaris is really living with you. I tell them they’re crazy, but they won’t shut up about it.
Curious in Connecticut
Dear Curious,
Your friends are obviously skeptical assholes. Not only does Sedaris currently reside with me, he’s trying to grill a cashmere pillow as I type this. The smell is terrible.
Yours,
Blogagaard
Dear Blogagaard,
Do you like shrimp?
Hungry in Hungary
Dear Hungry,
I really like shrimp. I wish I were eating shrimp right now. That would be the best.
Blogagaard
Dear Blogagaard,
I just want to applaud you for your bravery. Not every man can admit that he’s recently bought flowers for himself. There’s a huge world beyond the closet, big guy!
Out in Minneapolis
Dear Out,
Thank you for your support.
Wait a second. What exactly do you mean by that?
Blogagaard
Dear Blogagaard,
Are you on drugs?
Your father
Dear Dad,
I’m not the one who drives a red monster truck with a huge American Eagle decal in the back window.
Blogagaard
Blogagaard Loves to Ponder
About Me
- David Oppegaard
- St. Paul, Minnesota
- I am the author of And the Hills Opened Up, The Suicide Collectors, and Wormwood, Nevada.
AddThis
11 comments:
Dave, I'm glad to know I can come to you for advice. How late do you take phone calls? I won't call any later than 3 a.m. and absolutely no calls before 5 a.m. Promise.
Hey, great Matthew Perry impression in one of those pictures on Shorty's site. Could you LOOK any more like Matthew Perry?
That's my Matthew Perry impersonation. Do you like it?
:-)
Dear Blogagaard -
T.S. Eliot told me he was going over to your place to party with you and Sedaris. Now I can't find my coffee spoons. Did he leave them at your place?
Lex Ham Rand
Dan Dan Dan. You know me. I'm always ready to dispense wisdom like crackers at a cheese and wine party.
Ha. Matthew Perry. There's an actor with a fantastic career still ahead of him.
Not!
Sorry, lex, but Sedaris has already turned your coffee spoons into a lovely windchime. He hung it up in our "foyer".
Dang it. Those spoons were part of my "Royal Family" spoon collection from the Franklin Mint. I'm SURE they were appreciating in value....
Dear Blogagaard,
I love letters. How come nobody ever writes me letters? You get letters all the time and I am very jealous. Do you have a jar of raspberry confit that I can borrow?
Hopefully,
Voix
Life is hard, Voix. Hard and dusty.
But you made me look up and leanr a new word!
Confit
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Confit (French) is a generic term for several kinds of preserve.
Confit is one of the oldest ways to preserve food, and is a speciality of south-western France. The word comes via the French verb confire, from the Latin word (conficere), meaning "to do, to produce, to make, to prepare" The French verb was first applied in medieval times to fruits cooked and preserved in sugar syrup or honey. Later it has applied to all kinds of food that has been immersed in a substance that both flavours and preserves it. Sealed and stored in a cool place it can be stored for several months, and can be reheated to extend its useful life.
Meat confits
Confit de canard (duck leg confit)The first kind are preserves of meat in fat. (Excessive fat is discarded before consumption.) It's basically to cook a piece of meat in its own fat and stored in a pot, covered in the same fat to preserve it.
The best known examples are confit d'oie (goose) and confit de canard (duck), in which poultry is macerated in herbs and salt, cooked in savory broth or fat, then preserved in rendered fat. Such confits are a specialty of the southwest of France (Toulouse, Dordogne etc.) and are used in refined versions of dishes such as cassoulet. Although confit of goose or duck are now considered somewhat luxurious products these dishes were used by peasants as a means to store meats for periods of time without refrigeration.
Fruits confits
Fruits confits are fruits (or pieces thereof) preserved in sugar. The fruit must be fully infused with sugar up to its core; larger fruits take considerably longer than smaller ones to prepare. Thus, while small fruits such as cherries are confites as whole, it is quite rare to see whole large fruits, such as melons, confits, and large fruits confits are quite expensive.
Small fruits confits, such as cherries, are traditionally used as decorations on elaborate cakes. In French, the expression la cerise sur le gâteau ("the cherry on the cake") is used figuratively to mean some kind of desirable, but not indispensable, additional feature or finishing touch.
Dear Blogagaard,
Is it true that your favorite color is pink?
Alex
I bet pink confits are tasty.
When you ride in my father's monster truck, you truly feel like squishing every bug sized car on the road. It is too much power. I refuse to drive it, for fear of being drawn to the Dark Side of driving.
Just call me your vocab girl.
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