I'm Just Waiting on a Bed

They're finally delivering my fancy individually made bed tonight. I ordered it on August 22nd, and I'm ready, ready to live like a queen on my new queen sized easy sleeper. They said be home from 5 to 9, this very Friday night, and when I protested that I was a man of action on weekend nights they just laughed.

Laughed, I tell you.

So while I wait, suddenly chained to an apartment I would have hung out in anyways, I find myself picking up, cleaning, and trashing. I'm even thinking of doing my monthly round of vacuuming. This new bed's going to rock my world.

Welcome to adulthood, Dave Blogagaard!

15 comments:

Kelly Coyle said...

It's a big day for you. Congratulations.

David Oppegaard said...

Hmmm. 7:30 and no sign of the couch guys. Myabe I was too hasty bringing my old mattresses out to the dumpster.

On TV, a cowboy is ice skating.

David Oppegaard said...

Thanks Kelly! In no way are you being sarcastic, right?

ha!

Something dirty said...

COngratulations! There's nothing like new furniture to make the day a little brighter.

Anonymous said...

Oh how exciting. Is it a water bed with a mirrored headboard?

Something dirty said...

So, did you have this thing commissioned? I'm imagining either an elaborately carved four poster with tapestry hangings or a race car.

David Oppegaard said...

The bed is here!

I repeat, the bed is here! Fuck yeah!

Ladies, it's everything I've ever dreamed of. Metal frame, box spring and mattress! So comfortable, so lovely! Now I have to go wash all these new Target queen sized sheets! Just think, four months ago this bed would have taken up my entire studio!

Lay lady lay
Lay across my big brass bed!

Anonymous said...

David! Thank goodness!

I am getting so tired of Vince Vaughn! I know that the one thing I really need is some Bloggy-loving on a BRAND NEW BED! Oh joy! Oh Ecstasy!

And what with Brad still humping that slut Angelina I know that the only man who could ever satisfy me like Brad would be you, David.

Take me now, David! Rend my tight, form-fitting garments!

David Oppegaard said...

Oh Jenny, why must you tease me so? You know your perfomance in "Bruce Almighty" ravaged me!

And what's a famous celeb like you doing in a blog like this?

Anonymous said...

Brad's not that great.

Anonymous said...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Angelina! Just because Orlando Bloom is getting all the "other cute guy in the film" roles these days is no reason to harsh on me. I still got it!

Anonymous said...

WHAT ABOUT ME!!!?

Anonymous said...

*sounds of sobbing*

Something dirty said...

hilarious!

This is where Hollywood comes to throw down.

Sarah said...

you see, with me being as flipping short as i am, i could sleep on one of those kiddie beds with the mattress from a crib...so, i can't see what all this excitement of a new bed can bring...when i crash somewhere, i am usually just left in a corner, or under a bed or something...

i'll have to try getting a new and exciting bed or something...you sound pumped. i want to be pumped...

Post a Comment