The Defense Rests, Your Honor

Well, I just got back from my thesis defense. It went smashingly. You see, what I used was a tradition 4-3 defense with a Cover 2 formation. I used frequent , highly effective blitz packages as well, such as a free safety/cornerback blitz combo, or sometimes I just snuck a couple of outside linebackers in when the offense was busy blocking my elaborate stunt formations. I was able to stop the run and force them to pass, and when they passed they had almost no time to throw because of my fleet defensive ends. The quaterback was forced to scramble so much that eventually my nosetackle snapped his leg like a dry twig, a la Joe Theisman.

Now, of course, I am quite exhausted. I say good day.

20 comments:

mm said...

Out of curiosity, how does one defend a thesis for creative writing. What is the thesis for creative writers anyway?



Graduate committee: "This novel sucks!"

Dave: "No, it doesn't."

Graduate committee: "Oh, ok."

Am I close? Think I owe you a beer for that at any rate.

David Oppegaard said...

Ha ha, funny man. It was more like:

"How successful do you think the castle details are stacked throughout the novel?"

Me: "I don't want to think about that right now."

TRUE QUOTE

Something dirty said...

congragutfabulations! I don't know from sports, but it sounds good.

love the quote, too!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Dave!

So how did your committee respond to your "I don't want to think about that right now" reply?

mm said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Classic, Dave. Proving again that the best defense is a good...

Well, clearly, it proves something!

Congrats!

lp said...

Congrats Dave! There's a hot tub waiting for you somewhere...

Anonymous said...

Dear David: Congratulations to my mortal enemy! I am so very proud of you. Hugs! Beth

Michelle said...

cool, Dave.

David Oppegaard said...

Thank you, Shannon. My committee just laughed, thank god.

Also, thanks Dan, Michelle, my arch nemesis Beth, and Shorty Grrrl.

Remember people, the only thing a prevent defense prevents you from doing is winning.

Becca said...

Congratulations! It's a nerve-wracking thing, those defenses. Two of my professors got into an argument during my defense. Scary!

Lucas said...

That's awesome Bloppie! Congrats!

Anonymous said...

Congrats, I've always thought my boyfriend was brilliant! I'm so proud!

Voix said...

Yay you! There is an end in sight!

David Oppegaard said...

Wow, I haven't had this many congratulations since I single handedly defeated the Soviet Union in a blini eating contest.

Thanks everybody!

Alex said...

I'll add my congrats to the pile David. Good for you.

Now what?

David Oppegaard said...

Now what indeed. Now what indeed.

Kelly Coyle said...

Did they stick to the grubby details of the ground game, or were they more up the the lofty heights of the passing game. Did you win it on the line? Was it a scrambling offense, or did they throw from the pocket?

David Oppegaard said...

Ha, ha, Kelly, nice try!

Let me say this: Never have a thesis defense at 8:30 A.M. if you're a night owl. I could barely think.

Kelly Coyle said...

Best I could do. I have asportsia.

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