St. Paul Will Be Cleansed of All Evil

It rained earlier tonight, and it will rain again. Perhaps it will be raining when you read THIS VERY POST.

But do not be alarmed. Rain is neccesary. Without rain, the light bulb, the race car, and slate roofing would not have been invented. You see, rain provides hyrdation, which keeps the human skin supple, and rain also powers hydroelectric powerplants, which in turn power fun arcade games like Final Fight. Which good guy were you in Final Fight? I was the big dude. I do not need quickness. I need strength. Strength to walk through the rain as it pours down around me, threatening to wash away everything I love and everything I hate.

No snow will remain.

No one gets out of life alive.

11 comments:

Voix said...

Ummmm . . . *snif* What?

Anonymous said...

Dave, you obviously chose the big guy in Final Fight because "playing" him was a way of expressing your latent homosexual tendencies. Look at the mustache on that guy, the huge though nancy-boy-esque phsyique. The S&M inspired belt the he wears like a single suspender over his muscled, shirtless chest, the same muscled, shirtless chest that you were time after time drawn to. Come out, Dave, come out.

Something dirty said...

wow. Okey dokey.

Alex said...

When I saw the title of your post, I thought you were referring to the big machines that will come and sweep my St. Paul street today. We had to park the cars in the front yard because our garage is full of CRAP. Do you think the rain will wash away our garage crap?

Amethyst Vineyard said...

You became very nearly film noir in this post. The rain, the dirty city, a lone man, walking through it all. The only thing that got in the way was the hydroelectric plant bit.

mm said...

Wow, I really wish that I had been the one to make that post instead of anonymous. Hilarious.

David Oppegaard said...

rain will purge us all.

all of us!

Anonymous said...

Bloggo, you are one crazy homoerotic vato, you know that?

David Oppegaard said...

Whatever, taco. You smell like salsa verde.

David Oppegaard said...

Raining. Still raining.

Should I build an ark?

Becca said...

You can google the building design. Or, you could make friends with the guy upstairs.

It's started raining in Duluth. Last call, snow!

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