Pay Jabba No Bother

Today was good day.  Me eat many squirming fragos and they fought against my tongue but my tongue is very strong and crush fragos and then, no more screaming.  Just crushed fragos sliding down this enormous fierce throat and into first stomach.  How can you go wrong with fresh fragos?  You cannot.  Maybe I will eat more before I close eyes and slumber.

Also, I met girl today.  Very pretty.  Also, she has gumption.  Yesterday she brought me wookie Chewbacca and pulled thermal detonator on all of us.  It would have been messy but I agreed to her bounty price, and later, when she try to free Han Solo from the carbonite, I get whole gang together and we have good throaty laugh over her misfortune.  She loves Han Solo but he is in dungeon now with wookie Chewbacca (who is not such a bad guy, really, if only he would hang around with better crowd).  Now pretty girl is dressed is sexy space lingerie and I have harnessed her sexy body to my own and when I want to lick her I simply tug on chain and there she is, mine for the licking.  It is good to be king, even of desert shithole like Tattoine.    

Perhaps I should call Mother before I slumber.  It has been ages.  But she will ask all the usual questions, like when am I going to settle down with nice elongate Hutt girl and a start family pod.  Why is she never satisfied?  I am ruthless dominator of entire planet, richer than many Hutts twice my age, and still she must carp, carp, carp.  Even on day they bring dickhead Han Solo to me, screaming like nancy girl but soundless, because of the carbonite, I call Mother and all she can say is, “That is nice, Son, but have you thought about your future?”  Why should I think about future when I can lick women in lascivious outfits whenever I want, eat all the fragos my stomachs desire, and I gain tremendous weight with each passing year?  

5 comments:

Voix said...

You weak minded fool!

Something dirty said...

Glad to hear your week is going so well. Don't worry, you will meet a nice elongate female someday, and you'll just know she's the right girl for you, and all the lickable captives in the world won't be able to distract you.

Blogagaard said...

Aye, Michele. Aye.

SD, Jabba certainly hopes so.

Wait, how did Jabba ever defend himself? He could barely move. How did he enforce his iron will? Mysterious....

Matt Belcher said...

Note to Jabba: Beware young men dressed in black. And stay off your sky barge for a few days. I have a bad feeling about this...

Becca said...

Jabba: Do not listen to this Matt person. Ignore your mother. You will be fine. You will have many a chick to lick in years to come (ha ha ha).

Post a Comment