Blogagaard Blames liquor Store Guy For Night of Drunken Soprano Watching

I had a tough day yesterday. I was in a pissy mood at work (the guy living above me woke me up too early with his loud music, a guy I now refer to as the Judy Garland Sound Machine for his choice in what music he plays really, really loud) and Friday afternoon seemed to stretch on and on. When I finally finished my shift, I stopped at the liquor store near my crib for some whiskey. I'm dazed, and tired, and at the register the clerk, whose been watching this small TV for every minute he's worked, smiles and starts talking about some hostage in Iraq who They keep threatening to kill, and the clerk says why don't they stop threatening and just kill her already. He says this like I should agree, and even laugh about it, but I don't want anyone to be killed, I just want to get drunk and watch The Sopranos, and suddenly I'm outraged at this idiot who is probably not related to the hostage. Outraged isn't even the right word. I'm sad, and tired, and wondering what the fuck is wrong with America that's it's come down to "kill her already". Then he goes on to call the hostage an idiot because she works as a reporter for The Christian Science Monitor, and didn't she know they'd kill a Christian first?

So in one discussion I'm reminded of several things 1)people are idiots 2) men are assholes, and women are, in comparison to us, sweet angels we often take for granted 3) people are still killing each other over religion, which is why I walked away from the whole thing fifteen years ago 4) whiskey is pretty cheap 5) something in my heart is broken, but I don't know exactly what, or even where to get a replacement part.

But it's okay, I guess. That hostage will get to go to Heaven, that clerk will keep watching his TV, and I'm slowly learning to play guitar.

7 comments:

Julie DuRose said...

Profound. But good whiskey is decidedly not cheap. (I'm partial to Booker's, unfortunately.) Bet I can drink you under the table, Blogagaard -- especially if we get started on religion and media and American apathy...

L said...

There's a used parts yard out in Savage. I'm guessing your intreventricular septum is a bit worn. It's an easy fix, though. You can do it yourself. Just ask for Ted and he'll let you pull the part yourself and then really it's just an hour in the kitchen at home and you're good to go. (As long as you still have your manual.)

David Oppegaard said...

Julie, I bet you could drink me under the table, but then HA! I'd be under the table stealing your wallet, while you were stil above the table, drinking whiskey like a sucker. I should have said cheap whiskey is cheap, but that's such a redundant statement that I'd be embarrased to make it.

Inspektor, you old so and so, I think you're just joshing me. But, how wonderful, if what you say is true....

Julie DuRose said...

So what you're saying is...If I should ever find you as my drinkin' buddy, I should avoid tables of all kinds and probably bring my own (good) whiskey?? Consider it done.

David Oppegaard said...

Has anyone reading this ever been to a whiskey making place? I toured one in Scotland and it was great. I couldn't pay attentiuon to our group's guide because I was just plain giddy to taste test. Also toured one in Ireland, but it turned out to be a museum, not a working whiskey making place.

Kelly Coyle said...

I think you should, in all seriousness, write a letter to the liquor store and relate the incident. The guy needs to learn to keep it inside his head, or start a f^*&*&ing blog where we can ignore it there.

David Oppegaard said...

Actually, Kelly, I think that guy owns th eliqour store, so he'd just laugh and tear up any letter. I'll just go back to the liqour store I used to go, run by a this really nice old man and his son.

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