We here at Blogagaard shall be turning 33 years old on Sunday, this 19th of Augusta. Thirty-three is also, roughly, the year Jesus kicked the bucket. And, of course, the many things we've accomplished in our brief time on this planet make Jesus look like a huge palm leaf smoking slacker. Let's take a look, shall we?
Jesus healed the sick-we've managed to keep that cactus Grandma gave us seventeen years ago alive and healthy. Take that, poor people!
Jesus performed miracles-I've gotten my dad to stop overcooking steaks on the grill.
Jesus had twelve disciples who worshiped him-I have a podcast that averages 30 listeners a week!
Jesus was born in a manger-I was born in St. Paul! Which is kind of like a manger!
Jesus was a nice guy-sometimes I'm a nice guy, especially if I've had 8 hours of sleep!
Jesus turned water into wine-I've turned the words in my head into novels! And I make a good Old Fashioned.
Jesus wrestled with dinosaurs-I wrestle with my own taxes every year!
Jesus embraced the poor and the sick-I adopted a cat named Frenchie!
Jesus told kick ass parables-I tell kick ass stories that involve me in unlikely situations!
Jesus died for your sins-I shall live on to enjoy sins!
HAPPY JESUS TO ME!!!