Blogagaard Watching All-Star Game

Well, I'm about to, anyway. The pregame show has now been going on for an hour and a half. It's a special all-star pregame game game ceremony: they got around fifty hall of famers involved, including Rod Carew, Hank Aaron, Yogi Berra, Frank Robinson, Willie Mays, and a stern George Brett, who looked like he was ready to grab a bat and start slaughtering National League players, and they closed down 6th Ave. in New York, threw down the longest red carpet since ancient Rome, and threw one crazy parade. This is the last season of Yankee Stadium, and for some reason people care about this stadium, although we all know it cannot possibly measure up to the majestic grandeur of the Metrodome in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

So far the most surreal happening of the night had to be George Steinbrenner appearing in a golf cart, circling the stadium, and delivering a paper bag full of baseballs like a cross between Jabba the Hut, the Noid, and Roy Orbison.

And just for the record, I'm already sick of Joe Buck's voice.

21 comments:

Blogagaard said...

As we veer into the second inning, I'm reminded how fundamentally boring the all-star game actually is. Where have the John Kruks, Randy Johnsons, and Kirby Pucketts gone? All we have now is superior talent and sub-par crazy funny players. What sort of trade off is this?

Blogagaard said...

Clarification: Randy Johnson is still playing, he's just not in the all-star game this year.

Blogagaard said...

By the way, while reading ESPN.com I've discovered there are now all-star glam parties hosted by the famous, even by non-all stars and even non-athletes. This year there was a David Ortiz party, a Jeter & Michael Jordan party, a Torri Hunter party, and an a-rod and Jay-z party. What the fuck is this about? And why was I not invited to any of them?

Blogagaard said...

I didn't know Ben Sheets was this good. Now that's pitching, Manny.

Blogagaard said...

Dustin Pedroia looks like the scrawny bag boy at our grocery store. Yet, he plays for the Red Sox!

Blogagaard said...

Yogi Berra is in the booth chatting with Carver and Buck. No mention of AFLEC yet. Yogi's rambling about something. An entire generation is only going to know him as the old guy in the barbershop chair with that talking duck. I can't think of anyway I'd rather be remembered...

Blogagaard said...

Uh oh. Getting sleepy. And FOX is doing that "there's only one October" ad again. There's only one of every month, you fucking troglodytes!

Blogagaard said...

ichiro just pegged Pujols out at 2nd base from the corner of right field. I love you, Ichiro!

Blogagaard said...

During a commercial break, I've check the Amazon sales rank for my book: 2,675,490.

It's hard to believe I've sold so many copies 4 months before it's release!

Blogagaard said...

Middle of the 5th. NL hit a homerun. A-Rod suddenly ran off the field with one out in the inning, probably to go get his limo refitted with dodo bird skins.

Blogagaard said...

Okay, I'm out of here. Time to go play video games. Peace!

Anonymous said...

great updates... watching also. as a friend of george brett's here in kansas city, i can say that he was up to his ears in emotion, given ever baseball experience that he had in that park. i'll be interested to talk to him when he gets back (will see him friday) and ask him what was going through his head... and yeah, knowing george, he probably wished he was in the game.

Blogagaard said...

thanks, anon. I just left the house for two freaking hours to return to the game still in progress. that's baseball for you. I need a snack if this thing is to continue.

Blogagaard said...

okay, to catch up: did anyone see Scott Kazmir's face when that Baltimore reliever got called in with the bases loaded, leaving him as the sole remaining pitcher for the AL? He looked like a caged bull somebody poked with a stick. How'd you like to sit in the all-star bullpen, as a starter, for 14 innings listening to drunken New Yawkers?

How many hall of famers do you think are still watching the game? of these, how many do you think are actually awake? they look like an early-to-bed early-to-rise crew.

They just walked Morneau intentionally and he stole 2nd. I bet he didn't wake up this morning thinking he'd steal a base in the all-star game. There goes my theory that this has become a Twins game, in which two teams battle it out in pain staking, WWI fashion until Morneau gets annoyed and smacks in a run.

Blogagaard said...

viva viagra? I hope ZZ Tops slays you all, Viagra-related schmucks.

Blogagaard said...

Joe Buck rambled about Kazmir and how he's not supposed to pitch much bla bla bla-woah! Uggla just made a 3rd error. That's just uggla-y! HAHAHA, that's right, I just said it! I SAID IT THAT'S RIGHT THAT JUST HAPPENED- anyhow, Francona should put in Kazmir for at least 100 pitches, then let's see Justin Morneau pitch. He's big, he played hockey. He can do anything.

Blogagaard said...

uh oh. we're going to the 14th inning. kazmir, kazmir!

Blogagaard said...

Two deep fly balls by the NL. We've officially switched into somebody-hit-a-fucking-homerun-already mode.

Blogagaard said...

nice catch by miguel tejeda. I thought he was supposed to be a washed-up steroid freak, but he's looking good. Better than George Steinbrenner, anyhow.

Blogagaard said...

going into the 15th. Kazmir, now? My chest is tingling.

Blogagaard said...

woo hoo! The game is over at 1:36 EST. More speedy baserunning by Justin Morneau!

A sign of future Twins dominance?

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

This is Blogagaard, signing off.

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