Blogagaard Dreams Movie Idea

I don't watch many horror movies anymore. I think something broke inside me after I saw "Scream" way back when it came out and hasn't been fixed since. For one thing, I'm not a big fan of torture, a la the "Saw" movie franchise where this one creative dude sets these intricate and painful traps for people and watches them die. At least that's what I think those movies are about, judging solely from the previews. I'm just not a big fan of torture, I guess.

But last night I had a dream. A dream about a crappy horror movie that goes something like this:

13 lucky fans have won a ticket to see "Rusty Scythe IV", the latest in a very lucrative horror franchise directed by Keith Blood. But this is no ordinary ticket: they'll get to see the film before anyone else, even before the premier, at the home of the director himself. The fans are very excited as they arrive and are dropped off by a fleet of limos, chattering as they excitedly take in the vast, forested Keith Blood compound. They sit in his personal screening room, waiting to see the most anticipated horror film of the year. But as the film starts to roll, it's only Keith Blood on the screen, and he tells them he's sick of making money off the Rusty Scythe franchise, pandering to the lowest common denominator, glorifying torture and violence, and that if they love gory horror movies about elaborate traps so much, why don't they try living in one. With that, a spike shoots out of the wall and tears through the forehead of one of the fans. The others scream and the hunt is on as Keith Blood tracks them across his estate and picks them off one by one, occasionally badmouthing his own films and the humanity that laps them up as he does so. In my dream Blood was played by none other than Gene Hackman.


Ken McConnell said...

The premise is off. If he's tired of making slasher films, why would he then go on to enact them for real? How about having it turn out that Blood is actually a serial killer at heart and he finally snaps and can no longer just make fake movies about it, but must actually DO it. That would be creepy.

Blogagaard said...

ah yes. that's better. I wonder if Gene Hackman would be interested...

Ken McConnell said...

Doubtful. I would get someone that looks totally normal like a Ted Bundy type or Norman Bates. Someone the kids would all relate too.

Wears an iPod, text messages, dresses hip and speaks in their youthful language. Someone they all think is way cool. One of "them".

OK Dave, if I have night mares tonight I will blame you.

Ken McConnell said...

Hey Dave,

Can you do a post on how you managed to get your book published? I don't mean all the blood sweat and tears while writing it part, I mean the how you went about getting an agent. Did you write short stories first or just the novel.

How many novels have you wrote before you sold one? That kind of thing. Us unpublished writer types want to know. OK, maybe just me.

Just Dan said...

Great post, Dave! Love the name (Rusty Scythe) and the concept. However, in the first paragraph you say you're not a big fan of torture and then later in that same paragraph you say you ARE a big fan of torture.

Which is it?


Blogagaard said...

Sure, Ken, I will.

Dan, I'm pretty sure this whole movie would be torture. I need to start dreaming better material.

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