Happy Holidays, dear consumers! You bitches are probably all out at the stores right now, aren't you? Ha ha! Caught you! Today I waddled past the Tea Source, which is almost always desolate except for maybe some people darning socks near the front of the store, and wouldn't you know it but the Source's counter was swarmed, positively swarmed, with hippy dippy tea lovers!!! Maybe one of them was you, and if so, I curse you! No no, I don't mean that. Well, maybe I don't. It depends. Did you do anything for me this year? I mean, monetarily? If so, you're cool by me. If not, well god have mercy on your spendthrift soul! Does spendthrift mean cheap or you spend a lot? Either way, you suck!
I've had a sinus infection/eye infection thing all week, and its sort of been fucking me up. But lo! Yuletide is upon us, like a crushing wave of credit card debt! For the next three days the streets of St. Paul will run with blood and then will all be reborn on Dec. 26th, inevitably underwhelmed, like baby Jesus on his second birthday (did the Wise Men at least send a card that year?)!
Onward, ho!
Blogagaard Loves to Ponder
About Me
- David Oppegaard
- St. Paul, Minnesota
- I am the author of And the Hills Opened Up, The Suicide Collectors, and Wormwood, Nevada.
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5 comments:
If I lived in St. Paul I would have tried to go to the TeaSource but lo, we went to the Dollar Tree instead. A very merry christmas to you too, dear David, from one who is also trying to recover from some kind of goupy ick in the head thing. I have a three year old in daycare. What's your excuse?
Dude, you get well, too!
Happily, I now avoid Tea. Not that it's bad. Tea is good. My final and only shopping trip this week is to Menards. Men-ards. Hmmmm.....
Michelle, I hapopen to run a daycare out my one bedroom apartment. I have a license and everything. Usually it's only about twenty-three to fifty kids a day here, so mostly we just watch Star Wars and eat crackers. Mmmm. Crackers.
Becca, I like Menards. It smells like wood and serious business. Their jewelery section leaves something to be desired, though.
You have to go to local hardware stores for the jewelry. The plumbing section does have chains and rings, though! I had only moderate success today. Oh well. Santa disappoints.
I have tried to be blogagaard-neutral in my monetary transactions throughout 2006; in retrospect, this was a mistake.
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