Let's Chat

Hello, sparrows! How are you? Hmmm. You should have that looked at.

Well, I'm worried we here at Blogagaard have grown distant from you, one of our half-dozen readers, and we're going to fix this by telling everything that's on our mind tonight. First, lets discuss the army of ants that has mustered on my kitchen floor. Never, ever, leave a piece of butter wrapper on the floor. It must be ant crack or something. So, I have set out this huge pool of ant poison and now the ants ring this pool in droves and remind me of Italians at the beach in August.

Second, is George W. Bush still president? Are we still in Iraq? Do the Vikings still suck? Astounding! I thought I'd been having a bad dream.

Third, I have a girlfriend these days. It's strange, having a girlfriend again. It makes me feel...what do they call that again? Happy? Is that a word? I'll look it up.

Fourth, I'm writing almost every day again as I rewrite The Suicide Collectors. I think what I really need is some sort of deadline-carrot-on-the-end-of-a-stick dangled in front of me and then I'll write doggedly. Maybe I just need to feel wanted, like Carrie in that movie Carrie. I just need a good reason to shave my legs, you know?

Fifth, I've started quiting books in the middle, or even after one hundred pages. I guess I no longer feel the need to absorb an entire work before I get what the author has to offer me. I mean, life is short. Why stick to something that doesn't compel you as a reader?

Sixth, I've purchased the first season of Reno 911 on DVD. It is so damn funny. You need to watch this COPS spoof; it'll make your soul shiny (and by the way I don't like COPS at all).

Seventh, do you have any burning questions to ask of me?