Humanity Is Lonely

I just got back from seeing Capote for the first time at the Riverview Theater with my friend Pale Poet. Humanity is lonely. Capote was lonely. Those two killers were really, really fucking lonely. Today I saw a pretty girl in a Twins jersey at Cub foods and a voice in my head said go ahead, ask her out, do you want to live forever? But I had nothing worth asking. Have you read the personals on Craig's list recently? There are some lonely, fucked up people out there. I found my $445 apartment on Craig's List and stayed to peruse the great, amazing mass of lonely, grammatically incorrect deviants this planet has spawned. It is amazing. I am certain everyone has a tiny, tiny black hole inside of their soul and we are all slowly leaking, and that's the real reason we die. Fall in love. Have beautiful children, a rewarding career. Go right ahead. That won't plug the hole. It may distract you from the vacuum, but that doesn't mean the vacuum is gone. When a magician is showing you a trick, he distracts you with one flashy hand while actually performing the ruse with his other, sneakier hand.

Still, we must walk the line anyway. Time for me to go hug Spike and Spike, Jr. They look lonely. Right now, despite what I have written, I do not feel lonely. I feel like taking a bath and reading The New Yorker. I will read a story called "The Trojan Sofa".

12 comments:

Alex said...

Geez, now I'd depressed. I think you need to get Spike and Spike Jr. some girlfriends.

David Oppegaard said...

you can't look to others for answers, Alex.

David Oppegaard said...

Although, Alice Cooper IS coming to the Taste of MN!

Something dirty said...

So this is how dead I am inside: my first reaction to this post is, wow, that's some cheap rent! Then I thought, I never really go to craig's list. Then I thought, 'tiny, tiny black hole inside of their soul', that really explains a lot.

Anonymous said...

You're doing the right thing, Dave. It's tough to stay clean in this dirty world. It's nice to hear someone out there is still trying. :-)

As for the girl at Cub, I'd say not to worry. You just need to run your offense. Let the other team worry about their own game. If she's the one for you, you'll see her at Byerly's sometime or somewhere. Then you'll have something to talk about. "Hey, didn't I see you..?"

Use the force, Luke..

lp said...

Dave, you constantly amaze me. How can someone who comes up with the tiny cat schtick be so profoundly right on about tiny black holes inside of people's souls?

I wanna see you arm wrestle.

David Oppegaard said...

Sorry guys, this essay wasn't supposed to have anything to do with me exactly or my love life, I shouldn't have brought up craig's list, I guess, it made everything veer off course. I was going more for ennui w/ colorful examples.

SD, it is cheap rent, I totally understand.

Dan, thank you my man.

Shorty, it's all about small things. My small arm loves to arm wrestle.

David Oppegaard said...

Today, I feel like a Kinko's worker. Would you like that collated?

Steph Wilbur Ash said...

Dave--you will never be lonely if you acknowledge that the kingdom of heaven is inside you with all its riches, and discovering and using those riches to make yourself and the world more fulfilled will keep you as happy as you can be. Consider what Jesus said, from the lost book of Thomas: "If you bring forth what is in you, what is in you will save you. If you do not bring forth what is in you, what is in you will destroy you."

Give it to the world, mo fo. Don't be afraid of it.

I love Jesus. Jesus is my new friend. But don't worry, I'm not gonna go all Christianity on ya. I also love Muhammed and Buddha, and Alice Cooper. Feed your Frankenstein, in other words.

Voix said...

I have to agree with Steph -- It's the "God sized hole" inside of us that needs filling.

But that's just the View from Voixville.

Something dirty said...

What should you do if God just doesn't do it for ya?

David Oppegaard said...

SD, perhaps my readers are emulating the absence of God in the universe with the absence of any reply to your question...

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