Blogagaard Comment Marathon!
This is a post about nothing, nothing except the fact that I'm not going to post again until this post reaches one hundred comments! Inspired by the Captain, we here at Blogagaard want to push blogging to its limits. Feel free to comment on anything, anything at all. We will definitely do the same.
To the War Room!
Blogagaard Loves to Ponder
About Me
- David Oppegaard
- St. Paul, Minnesota
- I am the author of And the Hills Opened Up, The Suicide Collectors, and Wormwood, Nevada.
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109 comments:
I
blog
comments.
Today I ate half a bagel. It was good. But not as good as oral sex.
Hey Michele, you're cheating!
That's cool.
Five percent full.
I visit Blogagaard every day just for the moon update.
Is that your way of mooning us, Bloggy?
Brady, you are obsessed with my moon counter, aren't you? What I need is a Brady counter.
A better, gentler, mooning.
I need to do my taxes soon.
Now darling, it isn't cheating if you haven't set any rules.
Oral sex is way better than bagels. Seriously.
remember that Seinfeld when George when George wanted to eat foot while having sex? The food/sex line is very thin.
Huh
I just got home from work. Fun Blogagaard fact: my commute is eight minutes of city street driving.
Working on it
But 100 comments
seems a bit much
don't you think?
Also, the Doris Day Judy Garland Sound Machine who lives above me is actually listening to Bob Marley right now. Maybe hje's reading my blog and feels ashamed of his 24 yr. old musical tastes. I certainly hope so. Not to be out done, I am listening to Rage Against the Machine's first album.
alright, no more multiple post single sentences!
one of my ex-grilfriends resembles a girl Tom Petty. It's uncanny. She finds this observation quite humerous. I tell her she should spend a whole day speaking only in Tom Petty qoutes. So far, no luck with that.
I was once at a baby shower and everyone spent a LONG 20 minutes discussing which route they took home. My only contribution? "I take the freeway." Yes, THE freeway. All the way across town in 15 minutes.
For diner tonight: spaghetti. Every time I think of making it, it seems brilliant for some reason.
whew. 25 comments. 1/4th the way there. Cheers is a funny Tv show.
I ate half of a Chipotle burrito with black beans, steak, corn, cheese, and hot sauce.
It was delicious.
Nice to see you're laying down some ground rules. I hate it when people copy me.
Oral sex is better than Chipotle burritos, too. Just in case you were wondering.
God, since when do I talk about sex in blog land? What the hell is wrong with me?
If Geoff were here, I'd accuse him of wearing my panties on his head.
Dave, are you wearing my panties on your head?
No. I don't know where these panties came from.
I just drove to B & N and bought "Invisible Cities" for our literary devices class. I'm going to see how far I can read tonight before I fall asleep. Hopefully fifty pages.
Yeah, where is Geoff, anyways? This whole charade was his idea.... Oh yeah. Lit6 practice tonight. They do vocal warm-ups and comedic stretching.
That's there secret to success.
If I had a lightsaber, I could do anything.
Except math.
You could do math if you had to. You just need the right teacher.
I thought there would be at least 50 comments by now. Have people gone away to eat, watch tv, and essentially get lives or what?
David, is it fair if you post the comments yourself?
We have a light saber at our house, and a Darth Vader mask/voice changer. Surprising to hear a 2 year old with James Earl Jone's voice. "You don't know the power. Of the dark side."
David, did you know Greg Brown is coming to Duluth in a few weeks? I'm thinking of asking for tickets for my birthday. If it isn't sold out.
Michelle! I would totally go with you or babysit for you if it's "Date Night". Unless it's the same night that Steven Wright is coming. Then, we'd have to discuss.
Greg Brown's voice! The biceps! sigh....
Really? My Greggy? That should be great.
I think It's fair if I post 50% of the comments. But what is "fair'? Fair is whatever Blogagaard deems fair!
A Driving Poem
Once I was out and about, driving
and this guy came out of nowhere
as I was trying to merge
He flicked me off.
I flicked him off.
He flicked me off with both
hands
I flicked him off with both of mine
and then I laughed
What more can one do
after a double flick off?
His biceps?
Jeez Mike, too bad relative poetry's in hibernation, or I'd get the joy of rejecting that poem myself.
Ha ha!
Biceps. Honest. They go with the voice. I have two of his cds, though neither memorized. I saw him in concert with Ani DiFranco and Gillian Welch.
Say, is anyone paying attention to what's happening in the NFL this week? Porbably not, but anyways, somehow the NFL is managing to screw itself with this salary cap stuff. It's got something to do with the player's union and the league salary cap situation, but the gist is a lot of teams are going to be WAY over the salary cap and an unheard -of amount of free agent talent is going to be on the open market. Can the Vikings, with the most cap room in the league, become the next New York Yankees? I hope so!
Okay, go ahead and do the obligatory overpaid athletes big babies comments, if you have to.
Today Marie, a 75 yr old lady I work with, gave me a half full package of sausage links she and her husband Joe didn't like.
Now that's friendship.
I think I consumed 400% of the recommended intake of fiber.
Pete Seeger. We shall see. We shall see. Pfft.
Anonymous is also known as Alexa.
Jones.
50 Comments.
50% of the time, I am staring off into space.
I'm confused about an earlier comment. Did George want to "eat foot" or "eat food?" Those seem like two completely different fetishes. But that's just me.
Ha. No, it was "eat food" but that's a funny typo.
Good to hear from you, Alexa. Watch out for fiber! It'll kill you.
I, too, stare off into a lot of space. lots and lots of space. Maybe our minds can't always handle a lot of visual input because our imaginations provide more than we can handle already.
It is almost four A.M. Nothing much is going on here.
Good morning David.
What do you expect to happen when it's 4 in the morning? People are SLEEPING at 4 in the morning.
As should you be, Taco Boy.
I can't believe this comment thread isn't done yet.
Have you ever walked into Target wearing a powder blue leisure suit?
People should always be commenting. Always. Where is Geoff? That's what I would liek to know. The problem with staying up late is having to go to work at 9. Talk about un-fun.
What an excellent time to stumble across this blog. Hope you get to 100 soon.
Yo wick! Good to see you dude! How's Indiana?
I am here
I was so overwhelmed by the brilliance of these comments, I couldn't come up with
I have eaten a huge sausage. Already today. It is only 9am.
Oh Bloppie. This is so much fun!
Sometimes I fantasize about a nurse putting an IV in my arm and then filling it with morphine until my toes curl. I like to focus on the needle going into the vein. I have a really great vein in my right arm. Just perfect for poking.
You know what I like? Old people.
I think more old people should smoke cigarettes. Nothing makes me happier than an old person smoking a cigarette and pulling slots in an Iowa gas station.
My Aunt Teri won $255 last week on the penny slots at the West Union, Iowa Country Club!
My favorite Seinfeld is the enny Roger's chicken one.
Did you read that more people know the Simpsons than the Declaration of Independence? That makes me sick. The Declaration of Independence freed the slaves!
Okay! Time to pop an activan and watch the Price is Right!
I'm waiting to smoke until I AM old. When I get old, Mrs. Ash, I m not going to give a fuck about anything anymore.
You'll barely be able to notice a difference In my current attitude, but I'll be smoking unfiltered camels!
Good to see you, Wick!!! Another St. Olaf alumn!
My auntie loves nickel slots.
I don't like Iowa, though. It's flat there.
I've had morphine, and it really was fun. Fun and sleepy.
Mrs. Ash, you are hilarious with that Declaration of Independence shtick. As if such a document really exists.
Geoff, it's like we're competing to see who sleeps less! Good man.
Iowa has at least given us Greg Brown. South Dakota? Let's blow it up. Mt. Rushmore shushmore.
I win! I know I win!!! I really really do. Who needs sleep? I need borscht! You have any sour cream?
I don't know what it is about dill. Do you? I put some on my knees and then poured tomato soup on my knees and then ate the soup. It was so much better with dill than when I just pour soup on my knees without dill.
You like pickles?
Me too!
Geoff, do you think you possibly have food issues?!?!
Maybe you are bulimic. Or dslyexic. or autistic. or an austic bulimic insomniac quadraplegic nymphomaniac.
My uncle is one of those. He makes me bathe him every Halloween.
You know I do. I have issues generally, food is the most pleasant of which to talk about. Have you had a monte cristo recently? What a fine sandwich!
Funny, Mrs. Ash. But Maybe the Simpsons will lead us to more mouth-watering monkeys...
Wow. 80% of the target was reached before I knew such a thing exsisted.
80% of the time, it works every time.
Ok, they are listening to Enya at work. One guy is WHISTLING along with Enya.
Let's clarify something here: GOOD oral sex is better than Chipotle burritos. Bad oral sex is worse than Taco Bell. But if you had to give up really good food or really good sex, which would you give up?
I'll tell you my answer in another ten comments.
Oh -- I'd totally go for food. Vive la France!
I like soup, for example. Potato Leek. French Onion. Minestrone.
I am so hungry. My lunch time is in six minutes.
Enya must DIE.
As we all must die, departing this earth and all its magical computized music.
Geoff, stop teasing me. You know all I want is a monte cristo sandwich, one for each of us. After the next class?
Amazing, food has dominated this post for about 85 comments.
Jessi, let's get everything straight. Where the hell have you been, missy?
Geeze, looks like this thing is almost to 100. Wow.
You know, I showed a former roomate of mine your poetry blog, and he was inspired by two of your poems. You can see his post here:
http://delahk.livejournal.com/
See, Mikey, we're going to do it after all. Relative Poetry is hibernating because I ran out of poetic steam and Viney has left the building, as gfar as I can tell. Some people have real lives and think they're so cool...(Come back, Viney!)
I am about to play a rigorous game of computer football. I am the Baltimore Ravens because they have a cool name and colors. My team, which has been hand-picked and drafted over the years, is having a tought year at 7-5.
This game fills the void in me, somehow.
Well, I've split my time between a tenement dwelling in East Saint Paul, a profanity-run high school in West Saint Paul, and a soul-sucking campus in Midway. I'll never leave again!
Also, I would choose good food. Mediocre sex is still sex, but sub-par food is just no good.
Tenement. Bummer.
I'm listening to Ani diFranco and finishing my grades in my classroom.
My student aide is playing with my collection of rubber stamps.
I have a neck ache.
I ate a ham and camembert sandwich for lunch.
This is comment ninety one. I'm bored now.
only boring people are bored, Michele. Try arm wrestling your student aide. Oh the memories you'll make!
only...seven...comments...to ...go!
"The Office" is finally back on tonight, after those crappy olympics of boredom. Can I get a hells ya?
Hells ya!
This string of comments is like the Seinfeld where Kramer test drives the car and he and the sales guy ride it out to see how far they can go before they run out of gas.
Let's do it right now, Bloggy. You and me. Let's run it to 100. Whooo!
Alright, Brady, buckle up!
AHHHAHAHAHHGAGAGAHAGAGHA!
Let's raise our hands right now. And cheer for the great Blogagaard!
Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Life.
My...name...is. Kidddddddddddddddddd
ROCK!
bahahahababababajhajk9a[]'d ddoogy da doogy da
Man, don't I feel like the 101th Dalamation.
Man, that was exhausting. Glad I could be here to see it, Bloggy.
Congratulations.
Now whatta we do?
Thanks, Brady. What a wild ride. I feel like something was really accomplished something here these last 23.05 hours. Old friends, new friends, everyone really just gave it a 110% to get us to the Limit. Thank you, dear sparrows.
PS. Brady, if this is really like that Seinfeld episode of testdriving a car until it runs out of gas, this is where we'd hold hands, skip the exit, and keep on rolling down the interstate. Fortunately, I'm sleepy and must go take my nap.
What do we do now? Well...I think it's time for all of us to look in the mirror and really examine how sexy we all are. It's amazing, isn't it? I think people can tell we're sexy bloggers, just by looking at us.
I'm really fucking sexy. I know that for damn sure. I'm so hot men are afraid to ask me out.
ah well! i was absent yesterday. went to a barbeque and it was very very hot!
i also think your moon counter is a way of dropping a subtle hint, which i do not understand.
i never thought that you could eat monte cristo.
i think you, all the writers, would love mathematics because essentially it is a language.
ah, Gentle, always Mysterious Neha. You are very perceptive.
yes and i read elewhere that you are drunk, so i will say thank you and excuse myself.
neha
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