Blogagaard Delivers Pep Talk To Himself

I just woke up from a nap and I felt pretty good, pretty damn fine but then a voice in my head said "time for you to work on your thesis novel, David Oppegaard" and I said to that voice "The hell I am I wanna strum my new guitar and watch Sopranos" and the voice said "Fuck no you get to working you lazy fucking slacker" and I was all like "Fuck you, bitch!" and the voice was like "I don't care what or who you choose to love, but this is about fiction, you moron, this is about becoming a better writer, a better person day after day after rutheless day of writing meditation and reflection and soul-scrounging and you get your ass in that chair or else I'm going to sing the complete playlist of Matchbox 20" and I said " You wouldn't dare" and the voice said "Try me, goddamn it, just try me" so I'm going to go write now, just to shut the little fuckhead up and stop him from being all up in my grill all the time.