Blogagaard Delivers Pep Talk To Himself

I just woke up from a nap and I felt pretty good, pretty damn fine but then a voice in my head said "time for you to work on your thesis novel, David Oppegaard" and I said to that voice "The hell I am I wanna strum my new guitar and watch Sopranos" and the voice said "Fuck no you get to working you lazy fucking slacker" and I was all like "Fuck you, bitch!" and the voice was like "I don't care what or who you choose to love, but this is about fiction, you moron, this is about becoming a better writer, a better person day after day after rutheless day of writing meditation and reflection and soul-scrounging and you get your ass in that chair or else I'm going to sing the complete playlist of Matchbox 20" and I said " You wouldn't dare" and the voice said "Try me, goddamn it, just try me" so I'm going to go write now, just to shut the little fuckhead up and stop him from being all up in my grill all the time.

16 comments:

Blogagaard said...

Update: hour and a half later, I've manged to write half a page that I decided to delete already.

Brady said...

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

Kelly said...

As I say to every thesis and dissertation writer: done is better than good.

Becca said...

You could just embrace the insanity and invite Rob Thomas over for dinner.

Col. Kurtz said...

I did that once. Now I live in the jungle with villagers who bleed water buffalo when the frogs aren't croaking correctly, and a great collection of heads on pikes. It's glorious. You're welcome to visit anytime.

Blogagaard said...

I should send Tony Soprano over to talk with Mr. Thomas. I'm sure Mr. Thomas would find it very exciting.

Anonymous said...

That was great advice that Kelly gave. Done would be a relief.

Voix said...

That bitch got all up in my grill on Saturday. I'm feelin you, baby.

Apparition Jones said...

I'm quite frankly amazed that you doubt your own sticktoitiveness (I've been waiting to use that word for three days!).


Don't you write, like, all the time? Maybe if you went bowling and sang karaoke you'd feel better?

Blogagaard said...

I feel the same way about my writing that Viking fans feel about their quarterbacks. What have you done for me lately? It keeps me in a healthy state of writing paranoia.

Amethyst Vineyard said...

I just wrote my self a pep talk. Go check it out and see how much knder and gentler my pep talk is than yours. My pep talk rocks your pep talk's ass off.

Blogagaard said...

Well, yeah, on our poetry blog I wrote a eulogy for you. So how do you feel now?

Lucas said...

David,
Nothing against AV, but I loved that eulogy! Nicely done.
And that bitch (you know the one that got all up in Voix's grill) she comes to my house too, but she rags me about other things. I loathe her.

Blogagaard said...

Thanks, Lucas. I suppose we should all make piece with our inner demons, or at least invite them over for a drink.

Asura said...

Dave - for a blondish Minnesotian(?) you like the Sopranos far more than a healthy amount.

Blogagaard said...

I knew and hung out with a retired Mafia Don for a week when I thirteen (for real). It was a very formative experience, let me tell you that.

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