Another Writing Exercise!

Gas-N-Guzzle Employment Application, Omaha, Nebraska

Full Name: Tellon the Curious
Gender: Masculine, except during Frigid temperatures when I lose a great amount of rigidity.
Address: Ambrose-Proxy Nebula, the planet Grop, the City of Slurg. Ask for Axus the Stern; he will know where to find me.

Reasons Why You Want to Work At Gas-N-Guzzle: Long has it been my dream to assimilate into the cultural and moral landscape of this great Midwestern Earth State, which you label Nebraska. You see, ever since I was a young, gelatinous blob slithering back and form in my play arena, I dreamed of traveling to distant galaxies, and no, it’s not what you’re thinking, esteemed Gas-N-Guzzle employment representative. I did not want to conquer these galaxies and the planets that dwelled within them (a theory that seems to have great popularity with your comical science fiction writers) but instead, I wanted get to know these alien worlds, to take them into the many folds of my heart and learn their strange and unique ways.
And what better way to learn and experience a place than by working at one of its most popular destinations of industry? By working behind the counter of your esteemed establishment, I will get many opportunities to engage in “small talk”, to pass the time pleasantly and hazard my own guesses regarding local weather, sports, and political uprisings. Slowly I will accumulate the knowledge of regional customs I desire so heartily, while also providing a valuable service for the community, such as the dispensing of cigarettes and “scratch off” tickets.
When in Rome, work at a gas station!
Salary Desired: There is no need to reward me with fiscal endowments. I could easily purchase the entire Milky Way Galaxy and use it for storage. Mining asteroids with impunity has long been a lucrative career path for members of my pod, and at last we have grown rich enough to really relax and travel.

Educational History: I am well-versed in both sub linear and proto-quantum physics, shimmer engineering, and prose theory. I imagine there must be subtleties that are not apparent to using the Gas-N-Guzzle cash registers and machines of credit, but I am confident I will catch on with rapidity.

Reasons You Would Make a Great Gas-N-Guzzle Employee: Extreme affability is one of my trademark interaction staples, as well as renowned listening skills and a keen mind for figures. Tireless, I require sleep only once every lunar cycle, and I also have several appendages the basic human biped does not. Each appendage can serve several functions, from rough heavy lifting to the most precise movements imaginable, and the endurance and flexibility of my appendages is legendary among the beings of my home world. In the unlikely event of highway robbery, I am capable of emitting a piercing sonic utterance that will render the assailant comatose for several hours. I will keep the Gas-N-Guzzle safe not only from armed assault, but from shoplifters as well, since my wide array of visual sensors, some of which are quite invisible to the human eye, are capable of focusing on several things at one.

When Can You Start: Does this question mean I am hired? Excellent. I will serve this branch of the Gas-N-Guzzle with every quivering fiber of my being, and at last Omaha, Nebraska, will see what a motivated member of the Ambrose-Proxy Nebula can due to enhance their gas and convenience store experience. I am certain this will be a tremendous experience for everyone involved, and hopefully I will soon be able to cause the Freeze-E machine to reach its maximum taste potential.