Blogagaard Interviews Local Zombie
Blogagaard: So, Mr. Zombie, thank you for stopping by.
Zombie: Agga Crawsh!
B: Yes, quite. So, is it true you like to eat people, especially while they squirm with life?
Z: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa chomp!
B: Do you ever feel zombies are treated, well, unfarely in today's non-zombie-centric society? What's it gonna take to get a zombie elected President? Ha ha. I mean a real, flesh-eating zombie, of course.
Z: Mag nass maaaaaag!
B: To Shift gears a little, what's the dating scene out there like for zombies?
Z: Krawww sham chomp panties chomp chomp!
B: Sounds rough.
Z: Aaaaga!
B: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find the right zombie life partner someday. These things take time.
Z: Gaasa tsuggg mag errrow; tooorrrrrr.
B: What does the future hold for zombies in 2006?
Z: Aggaaaaaaaaag. Aggaaaaaaaaaaaaag. Aggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag!
B: Than you for stopping by.
Z: Gramph.
Blogagaard Loves to Ponder
About Me
- David Oppegaard
- St. Paul, Minnesota
- I am the author of And the Hills Opened Up, The Suicide Collectors, and Wormwood, Nevada.
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15 comments:
how did you get this exclusive interview?
That sounds like a nice zombie.
He was suprisingly personable. They had to keep him in a cage for the process, due to his salivating urge to devour me. Really, I couldn't blame him.
I could just eat you up.
What's the deal with zombies? I mean really?
Mikey is my good friend here in St. Paul. He also goes by the alias Miguel "Tiny" Sanchez, which I gave him the first day I met him, during the week of our freshmen year at St. Olaf College.
Mikey, do you mean with me, or with our entire culture's zombification?
I'm thinking of putting a "zombie hunter" in my next book...
Was this an old fashioned, shambling or 'Pittsburg' zombie, or one of the newer, faster running zombies? It makes all the difference in the world.
shambling.
Good. Because a fast zombie probably wouldn't evn have sat down for an interview. He would have just run at the bars of his cage again and again, shaking his head and spewing blood around.
Yaar, I be mikey.
Why hasn't anyone thought of a movie where zombies and pirates go to war with each other? That would be fantastic.
http://www.zombiepubcrawl.com/
What a fun idea. I like it when all the durnk zombies "attack" a car.
Oh, Mrs. Ash! I was just gonna mention Jeremy Wilker's "Zombie Pub Crawl" video. It rocks, people. Chop, chop!
I don't know about you guys, but my favorite zombies ever are the ones from "Night of the Comet" -- especially the little kid that attacks Hector.
The best part of this interview is where the zombie says "panties"
That is one of my favorite words. Just ask Geoff.
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