The Space That Occupies Us

I've been thinking a lot about spatial relations today, mainly about the places we dwell in and how they affect us. I live in a small apartment. Does that make me a small person? Do I 'think smaller'? What will I be like after I've lived here for a year? Like a mole, hiding underground in his small yet cosy burrow? I find myself utterly exhausted if I leave my apartment for more than six hours. This effect is slightly midigated if I'm at work, a place I've dwelled in, on and off, for over three years now. I'm used to work, if not the nervous people who continually pass through it. The walls are familiar to me and I rarely get lost. But take me to Ikea. Take me to Target. Take me out to three hour class and then the bar. Take me abroad and make me walk strange streets. I get so freaking tired I'll walk into traffic sight unseen. I get sleepy.

When I was kid I could play outside all day long and be happy. In college I left my dorm room all the time, though as the college years wore on I stayed more and more in my room. Am I a spatial annomly? Is freedom a terrible thing after a while? Would I die without a burrow? Is this why the haunted dead are doomed to walk the earth eternally? Is hell never getting to go home again?