News Flash! Famous Writer & US government have both gone insane!

Oh, my my. We have hit the bottom of the barrel (maybe). The science fiction author Michael Crichton has been hauled in to testify to actual senators and committee people about how he thinks greenhouse gasses really aren't too bad. This, from the New York Times:

"It has become a hugely divisive policy issue in recent years, gaining a new urgency, perhaps, by the recent hurricanes that slammed into the Gulf Coast. Many prominent scientists, no friends of Mr. Crichton, to be sure, believe that man-made greenhouse gases are causing the earth to warm and are urging lawmakers to pass new regulations that govern carbon dioxide emissions.

But after considerable study of his own, leading to "State of Fear," Mr. Crichton has concluded that the science is mixed at best, and that lawmakers should take that into consideration when they decide what they might do about it. (OH, THANK GOD. A WRITER WHO IS FINALLY ABLE TO SETTLE THIS ISSUE!)

His is an unpopular and contrary stance when measured against the judgment of groups like the National Academy of Sciences. (BUT DID THEY WRITE JURRASIC PARK? I DON"T THINK SO!) But it was not those organizations that asked Mr. Crichton to Washington to counsel Congress on how to consider diverse scientific opinion when making policy. It was the committee chairman, Senator James M. Inhofe, a plainspoken Oklahoma Republican who has unabashedly pronounced global warming "the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people."

In Mr. Crichton, a Harvard medical school graduate who never practiced medicine, he had found a kindred spirit - and a star witness for his committee.

"I'm excited about this hearing," Mr. Inhofe said, nodding toward Mr. Crichton as the proceedings began. "I think I've read most of his books; I think I've read them all. I enjoyed most 'State of Fear' and made it required reading for this committee."

Over the next two hours, Mr. Crichton and four other witnesses offered their thoughts, Mr. Crichton hewing to his firm belief that lawmakers should examine more closely "whether the methodology of climate science is sufficiently rigorous to yield a reliable result."

He took notes. He raised his hand to make points. He responded to criticism evenly and never lost composure. But it seemed like a lot less fun than winning an Emmy, as he did for "ER," or a citation as one of the "50 Most Beautiful People," as People magazine ranked him in 1992. And all he could do was sit there quietly, as Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton scolded him for views that "muddy the issues around sound science" and Senator Barbara Boxer said, "I think we have to focus on facts, not fiction."

THE END IS NEAR, PEOPLE! STOCK UP ON BOTTLED WATER AND SHOTGUN SHELLS!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

But....but.....I thought writers knew everything :-P

Clurg said...

God Bless America!

Where candidates for the presidency are forced to sneak into the debates if they aren't one of the two "correct" choices and writers who studied medicine become expert witnesses on the scientific procedures for studying climate.

Where people are shocked that there is a boob under Janet Jackson's shirt and that some models do cocaine.

God Bless Celebrities!

Living life so you don't have to. Distracting people from important local, state, and federal decisions since...forever.

David Oppegaard said...

I'd like to someday be called in as an expert on Madden computer football, years 2002-2004.

I would shine!

Geoff Herbach said...

You could also be called in on late night whisky consumption during extra-innings sporting events. "Writer Dave Oppegaard will discuss the state of the Twins offense -- in front of the state senate. Check local listings."

David Oppegaard said...

That would be sweet. I would drink whiskey during the hearing, and tell people it was just ovalteen.

The poor, poor Twins.

L said...

And Lost in Translation. You could testify on that, Mr. Oppegaard.

David Oppegaard said...

I love Lost in Translation, and I think I've lost a lot in translation myself, too. Every foreign, non-English speaking country I've visited has made me feel tongue-locked in a way, isolated from the people I'm there to say howdy to. I wish I spoke every tongue, except Klingon.

And, if Scarlett Johansen is reading this, I loved the you in that movie so much that I can never meet you in person, because it would not sufice, so please, please, don't e-mail me.

David Oppegaard said...

And hi, Mikey! Thanks for commenting! May we meet new Oles tommorow night at another ill-fated Olaf get together!

Anonymous said...

Yay, I feel appreciated.

and Dave, I have two words for your next writing project:

Fan Fiction!

Something dirty said...

Yeah! fan fiction! About Michael Crichton and his senator buddy. where they make out and stuff

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