Slouching Toward Christmas

I went shopping tonight on my way home from my temp job. The Midway Target parking lot was packed, complete with huge bantha-sized snowdrifts, and everyone had that extra-special insane glaze to their eyes. I don't know about you, but it never really feels like the holidays to me until I have to fight my way through an aisle packed with shoppers and nearly run over a small, stupid child who has thoughtlessly waddled into my way. Oh child, Jesus was born in yea olden times (maybe) but you are not he, and thou shall be plowed over for thou thoughtlessness. Yea, verily, feel the wrath of Holiday Shopping Blogagaard! Another misstep, young scallop, and I shall throw you to the old bargain hunting lady wolves, and you shall be torn asunder!

Now what are thoust doing? Nay! Do not touch that wrapping paper I have put in my package trolley!

No! Thou shall not pass!

Now, where did I park my motor carriage? O, Good Lord, where?