Blogagaard Loves His Grandma
My grandma called tonight, returning my call. We're going to film part of Hardworking Man From Nebraska on her farm. Well, it's sort of a farm. Sort of like Nebraska. We don't have exactly a huge budget for this baby. When we show up in August Grandma will probably feed us chesse slices wrapped around Little Debbie Nutty Bars. For her, that's good cooking.
But we love our grandma here at Blogagaard. She's eighty-three. She's good people. She took us with her on a Caribbean cruise when we were thirteen. We carried her luggage and discovered a lifelong love of lobster.
I just took some dayquil rip-off meds. I think Sedaris gave me some sort of strange non-fiction cold.
Blogagaard Loves to Ponder
About Me
- David Oppegaard
- St. Paul, Minnesota
- I am the author of And the Hills Opened Up, The Suicide Collectors, and Wormwood, Nevada.
AddThis
19 comments:
Cheese and Nutty Bars? Interesting.... I have a friend who eats peanut butter and cheese sandwiches. Probably would like your grandma!
Good luck with the Non-Fiction Cold. Real life can make ya sick.
I prefer Little Debbie Swiss Rolls.
Mmmmm. Cheese and peanut butter. Right on!
And grandmas are good. I still have two. One is 86 and the other is soon to be 96! I write them long letters about my life and they eat it up with such gusto! Grandmas are easy to please and easy to love.
Have you ever had a fried Mars Bar?
Just checking. I'll bet David Sedaris has. I'll bet he loves them.
You know, the cheese and nutty bars are pretty good, actually. Well, sort of. But I'll fuckin eat almost anything except onions and cherry cough syrup.
Lucas, I concur with you on grandmas. They really spice up life. Mine used to water ski until the age of 73 or something. She could water ski with no hands by putting the handle bar thingy between her legs. Sort of traumatic to watch that.
Michelle, I've had a fried Mars Bar and a fried Snickers bar. They were so tasty I worried I would go insane ....
Grandmas are awesome. My grandma has dementia so that sucks but she tells some great stories.
please keep us updated on the status of your film production
I will! We're going to have a website someday!
Thanks for the great grandma info. I only had one growing up - we were really close. She passed away in 2001 - I miss getting to go see her.
My grandma kept a jar full of individually-wrapped pieces of bubblegum in her cupboard, and she let us have unlimited access when we were at her house. I think I tried to chew seven pieces at once one time...
woah, my grandma does that too! the really cheap kind o gum she buys in bulk. always with the gum, that one.
Ah yes... the Grandma candy jar. Mine does that with lemon drops in a jam jar in her cupboard.
My grandma makes really good chicken 'n' dumplings, so, one day, I asked her for the recipe. She got up, went to the kitchen, and came back with a box of Bisquik. On the back, our treasured family secret for perfect chicken 'n' dumplings. It came from the back of the Bisquik box.
That does not surprise me at all. I find it a myth that all grandmas are superb cooks.
My grandma always put out those crappy square striped hard candies at Christmas. But I have never, NEVER had sweet corn frozen the amazing way she freezes it--the good German way--boiled and cut from the cob on the same day it's picked, sweet corn juice squeezed from the stripped cob with bare hands into a big iron pot, and sugar. Sugar!
My other grandma got out of rehab a few months ago (alcohol). She sent me a bookmark that said "Love yourself first. Everything else will follow."
Man, I love sweet corn, Stephanie. I really, really do.
This is fantastic. I didn't think grandmas would be such a rich topic of discussion.
How about Sedaris' grandmother?
Sedaris never likes to talk about his family. He worries he'll run out of things to write about.
My Grandma likes to let me lick peanut butter out of her pussy.
Anyway, I agree with Michelle, Little Debbie Swiss Rolls are quite preferable. And Lucas, if Grandmas are so easy to please and love, then you obviously haven't met my grandma...but perhaps some day you will...perhaps...perhappenstance....
God Noah, your freakish sense of humor is so wrong sometimes it's right.
Post a Comment