On Waking Up in the Middle of the Night
Last night, or rather, this morning, I woke up at 3 A.M. suddenly. My sleep had not been very deep, I think, and my mind must have been skimming over things, because the first thought I had upon waking was: "What the hell am I doing?" In a second's time I added up everything in my current existence, good and bad, and suddenly I felt like the biggest, laziest loser on the planet. I got out of bed and (I'm not making this up) started surfing the Peace Corps website. What continent did I want to aim for? What language skills did I have? What about my safety while abroad? Gee, the federal gov't (the same one paying for our old pal Dick Cheney oodles of money to shoot old men with buckshot while the world lies mired in chaos) somehow manages to muster up a whole $6,000 to give you upon re-entry to the states, for the "re-adjustement process". What the fuck was all this? What was I doing?
I decided to go back to sleep. That choice now seems entirely wise.
Blogagaard Loves to Ponder
About Me
- David Oppegaard
- St. Paul, Minnesota
- I am the author of And the Hills Opened Up, The Suicide Collectors, and Wormwood, Nevada.
AddThis
7 comments:
So, re-entry into "society" (Right...) is worth about two toilet seats and a really nice wrench. Great.
Altruism is always underfunded.
You could always be a teacher...
Ha. Good one.
I've got a friend in Muldova right now, deep into his 2nd year of the peace core. He calls it the rear end of Europe.
I'd say, that if you'd like to help the poor and disadvantaged, there are plenty of opportunities right here in the USA.
I've known people in the Peace Corps, culture shock is pretty cool and stuff.
I wrote five fiction pages last night, and I find my existence slightly more validated today.
I want what most people want: to do good things and help people without extreme discomfort to myself.
You should be a car salesman. Help people into the right car for them. Plus, you'll get a slick set of wheels.
What a smashing idea!
Post a Comment