Blogagaard Too Lazy to Go to Grocery Store

I was going to get groceries tonight. Or was it last night? Or was it two nights ago? Well, it doesn't matter now. Because I haven't gone. I've stayed home, cowed by big happy fluffy flakes of snow...or is that merely what I tell myself? Ha. There it is. I am too lazy to get groceries, and I can live on smaller amounts of food stuffs. Still have milk and bread, damn it, and that's more than the Russians had on the western front in WWII. They mixed sawdust with spices and water and baked that, called that bread! I...I have green olives, and eggs, and...oatmeal! I will surive.

Oh yes, I will survive.

I am going to make an omlet now, at 9:45 at night. Don't listen to them. It can be done. You can make breakfast food as late as you damn well please, and it will taste good, it will taste fantastic, as long as you are hungry, and willing to eat.

Never lose your hunger!

24 comments:

Clurg said...

This is very familiar,

I despise the grocery store and on certain days I will eat anything to avoid going.

Sometimes fabulous:
Pinto bean and turnip green quesadillas

Sometimes not:
Pears and venison sausage with carmelated pearskins and apples for dessert.

Clurg said...

I went to the grocery store today, even though I don't have a car and had to go to the store on my bike, and then hang the bags from my handlebars. I went to the store, and then I came home and made dinner for Clurg, and then I worked a double shift! The moral of this story is, that I am better than you in some basic and fundamental way.

Although, it isn't snowing in Alabama, and I think the temperatures were in the high sixties, so that made things easier. And I didn't have to buy toilet paper. It's hard to balance a twenty-four pack of Cottonelle double-rolls on a bicycle.

Amethyst Vineyard said...

The previous post was not written by Clurg. He is too lazy to sign out before I get on the computer. I hate him.

Something dirty said...

That's awesome, amethyst. You could've been a lot meaner than that.

I like to go to the grocery store late at night, to avoid the old people who swarm there in the afternoons.

Blogagaard said...

I get the huge, 4 rolls in one charmin at Target.That way I only have to change the Tp once a month, if that! That is how lazy I am.

Amethyst Vineyard said...

That would never work in this household. We use a lot of toilet paper. The only way to possibly keep the stock at a reasonable level for any length of time is to purchase high-quality, triple-ply Cottonelle. I would like to add, while I'm being mean to Clurg, that he always comes home with inferior butt-wipe, not understanding the principle I'm trying to get across when I tell him to spend more money on another brand.

Blogagaard said...

woah. that's a lot of sharing. I now can visualize someone checking Clurg's butt every time he comes home for inferior butt wipe. clurg, do you have a retort? I really hope not.

Ladies & gentlemen, this first couple spat in Blogagaard history! If you don't count me and the Captain as a couple!

Lucas said...

I love you so much today David!

AV, I too am stuck living with a man who doesn't understand the value of decent TP. Damn those bastards to hell!

But unlike you all, I like going to the grocery store as long as there are no people there for me to hate. In the winter I go before work at 6am and then leave my groceries in the car all day. There are few perks to winter in MN, we should take advantage of those we have.

Blogagaard said...

Thank you, Lucas!

I am going to the store right after work. Lunds! Yay!

Something dirty said...

The TP wars! How fun!

Lucas, what effect does this car-as-refrigerator thing have on produce? I've only used this method with beer before.

Clurg said...

Boooo, hoooo, hoo

Someone's butt hurts.

Amethyst Vineyard said...

Because I am a good, big-hearted person, we won't go into who goes to the store more often because someone else never has any money, or who in fact uses the most toilet paper in our house. Clurg, I am hurt by your sarcasm. Fight like a gentleman, avaunt!

Blogagaard said...

Maybe this should all be settled by wrestling. Go!

Blogagaard said...

hey Vineyard, how come there aren't any pictures of you on your own blog? All this Clurg action, no you!

Amethyst Vineyard said...

There is a picture of me! It's right in there amongst the Clurginess, you know, the 'girl-assassin'.

Blogagaard said...

you mean that picture of a 12 yr. old?

Amethyst Vineyard said...

I am not twelve, I am twenty-three. Now there is a full-color, scary-looking picture of me up, go look at it and laugh.

Amethyst Vineyard said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lucas said...

SD - I would think that something delicate like lettuce, might not make it depending on how cold it really is. Right now is a good time of year because it's cold, but not too cold. You want the outside temp to be around the same as the fridge itself. Good luck! And may I just say that you have all the class in making your point whereas others may be making their point a bit more immaturely. Girls unite! And I like your picture. You are darling.

Herbach said...

Vineyard, that is a very nice picture. I expected you to look all out of sorts from the lack of food and terrible butt wipes provided you by Clurg. You have a pleasant look on your face. No one would know how you suffer (tp-butt-wise). I'm cooking a frozen pizza!!!

Amethyst Vineyard said...

Vineyard and Clurg resolved differences this evening by going to the grocery store together and buying beer and chicken fingers. It was all good-natured ribbing anyway, much like the gentle, absorbent ribbing to be found in a roll of Kleenex brand Cottonelle bath tissue.

Blogagaard said...

you should be getting paid, Viney.

yes, Viney is my new nickname for you.

Amethyst Vineyard said...

Don't tell me I should be getting paid, because I already been knowin' it. And, just for the record, I could never win in a wrestling match with Clurg. He has these ape-like arms that are easily twice the length of mine.

Julie said...

I live with my father so I don't have to shop for groceries lest I die, but I am forced to get the stuff I really like to eat on my own. The snow is really interferring with my ability to walk a few blocks to get root beer and cheetos.

Post a Comment